Voices Inside My Head

I am writing this with a feeling of something being on the tip of my tongue just waiting to be said, the problem is that I don't know what it is but should I ever discover it I know it will be something greater than anything I happen to have thought before... not difficult, I assure you.

You know how young children often have an imaginary friend? Well, I have over a hundred. I can tell you what they look like, what their personalitys are like, their opinion on any matter and yes, I hear their voices inside my head.

I love the way that writing fiction is basically one step away from madness. That is, of course, what I am referring to- my fictional characters most of whom are dearer to me than any living person. In fact I have even confused them with real friends- I was halfway through telling the story of a friend who got trapped inside a freezer for several days when I realised that it was only a character from my story and not a real person at all. And yes, an awkward moment followed when I had to confess that I had been lying about it being an actual friend of mine.

Is it bad that I often confuse fiction and reality?... Actually, don't answer that one.

I don't think I can remember a time when these character voices haven't been inside my head- they send me to sleep at night, I listen to their stories during quiet moments of the day and I write about them at night. My head is an arena of people fighting for attention. I don't have a problem with this- it fills in all those moments when people bore me.

However, I do wonder what people without voices in their head think about. Is there nothing there at all? Silence? Just a series of pictures? How do non-writers amuse themselves in those silent moments? It is just unimaginable for me. I just can't imagine someone asking me "What are you thinking" and me actually, genuinely, being able to reply "Nothing"... surely silence is worse than the voices?

I think it would be the silence that would drive me mad rather than the voices that might drive another so. I guess madness is all relative and must be compared to what is considered normal to an individual.