Born to Boogie

I am writing this from the rubbish tip that is the converted loft in our bungalow. I intend to spend the week cleaning it but I'm now on my lunch break so I thought it would be a perfect time to quickly fit in some blog writing. Wrong.

Today the blog gods gave me the title 'Born to Boogie' from my ipod. Now, it makes a perfectly fine title fot a song by T-Rex but what do I write about when using it as a blog title?

As pointed out to me there aren't many news stories at the moment about dancing because of the elections (of course, usually dance is the hot topic of UK news). So I am going to have to use some imagintaion... what if the elections were more like Strictly Come Dancing?

The titles come up and you see the three candidates looking extreamly orange and dressed in sequins, bearing their chests to the world as they pose, legs and arms akimbo. Ba da da da da da da- da da da da daa.

And there's Bruce, his chin a-quiver with excitement- 'It's nice to see you, to see you-"

"NICE!"

"And lets welcome our thre candidates: David Cameron" David Cameron comes down the stairs, showing off some of his dad-tastic and conservative dance moves where no leg is ever lifted off the ground, in fact there is so little moment that a head bob and arm wiggle are barely distinguishable.

"Gordon Brown" he stomps down the stairs with the elegance of John Sergeant with a silly grin on his face. As he takes his position next to Cameron he cannot resist mouthing 'You're going down- just wait until you see me bust a move'

"Well, I'm down with the kids, word- they'll be voting for me," Cameron retorts.

"Nick Clegg." he chasses down the stairs with his maracas which is when we realise this is not going to be strictly ballroom. In a daring move he leaps onto the dancefloor, sliding in on his knees, maracas a-shaking.

As the evening progresses the judges lament the lack of rhythm and varience in cheorograaphy as each man repeats his signature moves to the audience over and over. They are scored for their efforts, there are tears and triumphs but it all boils down to the final moments.

As the phonelines are opened for the votes the three make desperate attempts to get the audience on their side with phone gestures. 'Vote me!' they all cry.

While the audience cast thier votes we look back on teh candidates journeys through the election and they remind us of how far they have come- David Cameron had to cycle almost a mile down the road amongst the plebians that line the London streets!

Their show dances are yet to come- the audience wait with baited breath, phones poised with their votes and they wait to see which of the three men were 'Born to Boogie.'