Can't Fight This Feeling

I am writing this from inside my fridge where the scant remains of a rice crispie loaf sit on a plate, begging for me to nibble at it. It's only 10 o' clock so I will fight that urge.

The feeling that I can't fight today is what I am going to term 'Main Character Syndrome'. Main Character Syndrome or MCS is characterised by non-fictionalised people feeling like a character in a book. Now, what's wrong with that, you might ask?

Now, it’s very serious, very serious indeed. In books everything revolves around the man character and, above all, their life is definitely going to be far from ordinary. People don't write books in which nothing of note happens; no one would want to read them, for one thing. Books are escapism- allowing us to step into other people's lives. There is a problem, however, when the crossover between fiction and fact are blurred slightly.

I first presented this syndrome at an early age and it has progressed throughout my life. A fine example of this is how, at eleven years old, I was bitterly disappointed when I didn't receive a letter to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I had spent the whole summer watching the skies for broomsticks and Ford Anglias and was pretty sure I was witch. Secondary school was a bitter disappointment after that. It is this disappointment of such failed notions that characterises MCS.

I have read so many books that I often feel like I'm part of my own book and, as a result, something marvellous must be just around the corner- that pivotal moment when the story is really worth telling. But nothing happens.

I suppose it is natural for everyone to feel a bit special, we are special to ourselves, after all. We see the world through our eyes, like we are narrating our stories, but the problem is that there is no guarantee that we will be blessed with adventure. Unlike characters in books someone is not about to knock at our doors and tell us we have to fight a dragon. Sadly.

I suppose what I am saying is that we could all do with a nudge in the right direction. We have to make our own stories and make our own lives exciting because no writer is going to come along and do it for us. There is a chance that you might be destined for fame, fortune and greatness but it won't happen unless you work at it.

I wish I could take my own advice better. I have always had the delusion of being meant for something important, that it is just waiting round the corner. Even as I write this I am convinced that some creature is going to pop out from under my desk and tell me it is all a lie. Alas, it seems my MCS is terminal.

I have even progress to the later stages of the syndrome where I find symbolism, foreshadowing and other hints of greater meaning in my life. Everything happens for a reason, everything is pointing to something else….

What am I saying? I am a main character.

Oh well, at least MCS isn't as bad as seeing yourself as the constant sidekick/best friend.... you will definitely die young and tragically, even if you have a great sense of humour, sorry.