It's Oh So Quiet

I am writing this, pretending that today is the same as every other day. I've put my music on, the cat is sat at my lap and I am steadily tapping out words on my keyboard.... however, behind this scene of normally something is bubbling in the background.

Call it election fever, polling day jitters or indigestion, it's still there. This is my first year of being able to vote in a general election and while I dutifully watched the leader's debates, read up on policies and made fun of the politicians on Twitter and growing sense of responsibility has come upon me. I actually have a say about what happens in this country.... well, up to a point. I am living in a Tory safe seat, after all. Still, the responsibility has set in.

The feeling is made worse because, after all the banter and debate of the past few weeks, there is a sense of silence as we all make our decision. Like in the Bjork song someone is shhhing and the sense of anticipation is growing, waiting for the moment of decision, the moment when it is no longer quiet and, for better or worse, a decision has been made.

Yesterday someone mentioned 'pulling an all nighter' on election night to wait for the votes to come in. Yesterday I scoffed. "Me? Give up some sleep to wait endlessly for a loads of people to count pieces of paper? Yeah right!" Now, with the jitters running round my body I am not so convinced. Maybe I will stay up. I have always found it difficult before a decision is made- it makes me restless, nervous and uncomfortable. That combined with a healthy dosing of insomnia this week and I think you might have another taker for 'pulling an all nighter'.

The anticipation is tortorous. As I see people, it is as if they are holding a hand of cards agianst their chest. I can't see what the cards say but I know they are going to determine the outcome. I am desperate to see the cards revealled but that is not the way the game is played. They have to be kept secret so we can live through this moment, so the magical hush can run it's course. It would be cheating otherwise.

So, it looks like I am going to have to continue this act of calmness a little longer until this strange and holy silence is over and the secret is revealled to the nation.