Three Steps to Heaven

I am writing this in the early hours of the morning... again. I'm mot sure why. For some reason I like to get it out the way.

'Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven' yes, that's right, cheesy chat up lines.

I once wrote a play and tried to put in as many bad chat-up lines as I could. Here are some of the ones I used gathered from various sources.

1. My love for you is like diarrhoea, I just can't hold it in.
2. I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples.
3. If I were Oedipus, I'd want you to be my mum.
4. I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I'll still make your bed rock.
5. I'm all English, Darling. You got any English in you? Would you like some
6. You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
7. Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are HOT!
8. I've lost my phone number, may I borrow yours?
9. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again
10. You're so pretty, I forgot what my pick-up line was going to be.

I do wonder who actually uses lines like these... obviously men rather than women- at least in my experience but I do wonder why they think such lines might impress a womam. It doesn't. It really doesn't.

They may be amusing but when faced with 'a line' I would never consider any sort of relationship with the other individual. I think lines are better to left on the stage.

Once my sister was walking along with a friend and a guy came up and said 'Is your friend a single mother? Does she want to be?'

Would you go out with him?

Please listen up guys- DON'T DO IT!